Changes As Path

Looking back at last  three posts there is a definite theme. Changes are path. So I'm walking, swimming, skipping, running, screaming along the path. But I'm still on it - definitely know this is all path. Had acupuncture treatment for my back and it was great - but much too expensive to keep up on a regular basis - Again, more Path.

Talk to me about your path - what does that mean to you?

Pain or sickness makes it harder

1.  Waiting to hear from he Plastic surgeon about when he'd be able to do an incision on my right side that's been causing me discomfort for a couple of years. Still no date set and it's been 2 weeks since I saw Dr. Rosen.
2. Back pain is worse and nothing seems to help. I am in a great deal of pain and anxiety.
3. Reverse mortgage process is taking more than I was led to believe it would take. I am definitely running out of money.
4.  Changing PCP is not going smoothly at all. Feel like I'm being tossed around from one to another.
5.  Therapist is most steady person in all of this.
6.. I've even thought about telling my sister the things her husband tried to force me to do through the years - but then that would just hurt her and what good would that do.
7.  Do you ever feel  you just want someone else to feel a bad as you do? No, I don't do that but I could use some help. I'll call for a PCP tomorrow and see if I can get a short visit.with someone.
8. Of course all this sets off the depression and isolation. Cancelled big Thanksgiving dinner and going with 4 people instead to local joint.
9.  I am so anxious and can't sleep.

Just hang in there girlfriend. Did something nice, bought a very plain vintage silver ring at the Shambhala Center Holiday Market. We did not get much turn out.  I wonder how much two of the store fronts on Eastern Ave would cost? Will check with Tom.  People asked about this blog the other night at Center. I enjoyed explaining it.

PCP's Don't Know Everything All The Time

I have been going to this primary care doctor for 14 years. During that time she's slipped up several times - not believing me or my symptoms - the most dramatic being ignoring my hand tremors because she thought they were caused by ECT treatments I'd had the year before. 

Then my psych medication APRN saw the tremor and asked me questions. Was I having trouble with balance or falling, was my handwriting different, how about memory. She referred me to a neurologist and within 2 weeks he was sure I had Parkinson's disease. 

So today I took the big step and transferred out of her care. I can chose another provider in the same office practice which I've done. There's relief, but I still feel I want to tell her off. That will probably wear off in time. 

If you have doubts about the care you are receiving from your doctor check it out. Don't let anyone, even and most especially a "doctor" belittle you. This doctor blew me off so many times and I'd often let it go because "she knew more than me", I was just being paranoid, etc.  It's taken me a long time to make the switch but it's done.

The other part is that sometimes people are just not a good fit. She was charming and self assured, and I did so want someone I could trust, someone who believed in me. She liked my jokes and often a good laugh at the end of the office visit made me feel  everything was really okay. I think, to many other people she's just fine. But she was not for me.

Now I used to have a guy cut my hair - we'd have great laughs and there was only one problem - I didn't like his hair cuts. Although he had lots of customers, he was just not for me.  Then I found someone else. I've had to work at our connection - but I really like her haircuts. 

That's how it is for me. Time for dinner. It's been a long day. Take care...vss