Changes

1.  Change name of this blog to depressionyoucanlivewith@blogspot.com

I did this because blogger is much easier to work with than WordPress. I hope it doesn't mess people up.

2.  Completely changed my booth set up for the craft fair because my friends didn't like the fabric I used for backdrop and they didn't like wreath I made and had me change the sheep skin I had on display on table. I listen to this person because she has been in the craft show business (potter) for a long, long time and makes herself a good living that way. 

3.  Got a bad cold Sunday night and had to change several medical appointments.

4.  Had to change expectation around house appraisal as it came in $10,000 less than I expected. 

5.  Have to call in structural engineer to certify my home is - something - I hope he knows because I don't.

6.  Had to call my one and only reliable contractor to install safety plugs in bathrooms and kitchens. Also to certify that my roof will last more than another 2 years.

7.  Changed my main antidepressant that I've been taking for years, because it's stopped working.

I hate this part, but it's happened to me a few times. The difficult part is discovering that this is what's causing you to feel down almost all the time.

8.  This is the best one - I can get through these partly because of the below:

AWARENESS

Awareness is the key.

Do we see the stories that we're telling ourselves

and question their validity?

When we are distracted by strong emotion,

do we remember that it is our path?

If we can remember to experiment like this,

even occasionally, we are training as a warrior. 

((I think that means having an open heart))

And when we can't practice when distracted,

but know that we can't, we are still training well.

Never underestimate the power of compassionately 

recognizing what's going on.

                                                                                                                                                        

                                               Pema Chodron

Don't worry so much about measuring up

I'm doing a jigsaw puzzle of a close up of a measuring tape. It's all jumbled up. I like the challenge. It's only about 60 pieces and I tried to put the like to it in this posting, but it didn't work. Maybe next time. Went to my psych nurse practitioner yesterday and strongly asked that she switch me to another main anti depressant because the one I've been on for several years doesn't seem to be working anymore. We had a good talk about symptoms and events in my life that could be bringing me down. Also there's the question of whether it's Parkinson's stuff which also causes depression. She's sent the pharmacy a new Rx, but they said it was refused by my insurance because they need a prior authorization. This probably means I won't get to start it till next week.

In the meantime I'm trying to focus on submitting my sheep skin hats to a jury for an upscale craft fair in Lyndonville. I borrowed a long fold up table and covered it with a soft maroon fleece, but it doesn't completely cover the sides. I got out some curtains and tucked them under the fleece around 3 sides of the table. The fleece is long enough to cover the front. Then I got some stuff at the Dollar Tree store to decorate it for a holiday look. Bells and a gold bow the the front and back. The sides and back of my booth will consist of folding shoji screens that will have 2 pieces of pvc pipe where the screens don't meet. Front these I'm hanging 2  panels of my living room curtains. Marcy said it doesn't go together, but I like it alright. I could use a piece of cream brocade to lengthen the sides but they will need to be hemmed. One more thing to do to get ready for this. And of course I've got to make several more hats. Did I say I was making a wreath out of silk flowers and ping springs from one of my trees?

Actually looking at it one item at a time it's not bad and kind of fun, even with the depression and anxiety.
Keep in touch,
Vickie