For a lot of us, depression is an incurable, often terminal illness:

       

That’s the good news

    1.   Now you don’t have to wonder why it doesn’t go            away, but keeps coming back.

    2.   Now you don’t have to feel guilty because  people            love you, but that doesn’t help either.

     3.  Now you can relax and think about soothing yourself,      one of the best things you can do.

     4.  Now you can quit fighting it.

     5.  Now you can cry when you need to.

     6.  Now you can think about living with it instead of trying to kill it by killing yourself. 

When I heard about Robin Williams I was terribly sad and stunned. I  felt helpless. This deep sadness continued for weeks and entered  into my dreams. I told some friends that if I’d just had a chance to talk to him that day, I might have been able to do something about it. One guy asked what I’d have said to him – “let’s go get a drink,” that’s what I’d have said. Apparently he was an alcoholic and I know for sure that I’m one. But, “Hey Robin, I don’t think that’s a priority right now. It looks like there are more important things on your mind.”

Actually it’s kind of like A. A. in that it will help me stay alive and sane if I tell you how I do it, and you tell me how you don’t. Just think of me as your personal guide through the underworld and, if we’re lucky and pay attention, we’ll come through it alive.

Please don’t think for a minute that I’m not serious about this topic. Unrelenting depression took my father’s life when I was an infant. All I was told about him was that he tried suicide again and again, that he was extremely depressed and didn’t know what to do about it. Now this was 1946 so there weren’t many options, but it’s all the same. No matter what causes it; childhood abuse, psychological problems, crazy or suicidal genes, addiction.  I have a story to tell. It’s a true story. It’s my story.  I know it is not unique to me. I have to tell it because I can’t bear hearing or reading that another person has committed suicide - without my saying this. I’m not a writer and don’t have a college degree, but I’m 69 and I’ve learned a lot of things.

It’s true what Harvey Fierstein said, “don’t fuck with depression because all it wants to do is get you in a room alone and kill you. ^“