It was a great six months

Last August I experienced a healing of sorts and had six months without depression. Amazing! Hardly knew what to do with myself and all the other kinds of feelings that came up.  So it's back, and particularly the last 3 days have been horribly sad and down. Now I have to get used to it again I guess. I feel stupid. My vocabulary is shot to hell. I'd just like to shoot myself, but I don't have a gun for one thing. For the other thing my best friend would be devastated which is worth staying alive for.   Also I'm a Buddhist and we think giving in to that urge will not help us in future lives. I think that's about right.